Test driving a car (especially an old banger)

Before you start the engine:

• Look at the dipstick - oil should be clear. If you see any muddy grayish color, engine might have cracked head or blown gasket (both expensive to fix). If solid black or dark brown, it more likely means the owner hasn't it changed for a while (not good but not an immediate expensive repair).
• Look at the water - if it's oily, same problem as above. If it's low - that indicates at least that maintenance is poor, worse could be an external water leak needing moderately expensive cooling system repairs or an internal water leak needing expensive engine and cooling system repairs.
• Check other fluids that they're at correct levels. It won't tell you much about the mechanicals if they're not but it does mean someone's been negligent with maintenance.
• Open and shut all doors gently. If they don't close properly, chassis or body may be bent which would usually mean the car has had a bad accident and/or a bad repair. It could also just mean the doors are out of line. You can't usually tell if the chassis/body is straight just by looking at it. If it does look bent to you, that means it is really really bent and will probably drive like a crab walks. Needless to say, don't buy it unless you just want something to decorate the garden with.
• Look around the car for rust and obvious accident damage. You'll be unlikely to detect a good accident repair. Ask if there's been any crashes though, and be very skeptical if the answer is no - most cars in Dubai have had a ding or two in their lifetime. Look underneath the car for any obvious dents, damage to the chassis.
• Also look at the ground and underneath the car for oil leaks. An oil leak is not necessarily a disaster - many older cars have them - but something to investigate.
• Look at the service history. If it doesn't exist, you may be able to get some information by phoning the main dealer if you have number plate and/or chassis number.
• Look at the tires for wear and damage (check the spare wheel also). Try and find the date - if they're older than 3 years, you probably won't be able to register the car since it's supposed to be illegal to have tyres older than 3 years.
• If the tyres are worn obviously unevenly, there's at least a problem with alignment (easy to fix) and possibly worse.

Start the car but don't drive it yet, just let it idle while you...

• Check the a/c (air-conditioning) on a hot summer day, preferably when the car has sat in the sun for a while. See how long it takes for cool air to come through at idle (and how smoothly car idles while a/c on full load). It's important not to rev up the car - you're trying to strain the system, not make it easy.
• If the a/c doesn't work well, it's expensive to fix. Many older cars may have a leaky a/c system but you can top up the gas cheaply. It will of course leak again over weeks/months/years - or seconds if the leaky component breaks. If you're testing an old car with good a/c, it's quite possible the owner has recently topped up a leaky system unless there are records of repairs. You cannot realistically drive a car without a/c from June to September. Really! Ask someone who lives in the UAE if you don't believe it. It is possible but uncomfortable to drive without a/c in April and October, and tolerable to pleasant from November to March.
• Check every electrical button and switch and control you can find.
• Lift the bonnet and listen to the motor, does it run smoothly? You may not have a clue the first time you do this but after listening to several cars, you will begin to hear occasional rattles and splutters. Secure your long hair, ties and jackets before poking your sticky beak under the bonnet near fan belts and other moving parts. There's also a trick with a big screwdriver that helps here but you'll need to find someone mechanical to show you - there's too much chance of burning or removing fingers to try and explain it here.
• Look at exhaust while someone revs the car a bit (not a lot - it's unnecessary). Any smoke should be white/light grey and minimal. Blueish/gray/black smoke is not good. Put a tissue over the end. If any oil appears, that should worry you.

Drive car (turn the stereo off so you can listen to the car)...

• You should be trying to listen for unusual noises (something grinding or whining is usually much worse than something squeaking), and trying to detect any sort of wobbles, vibration, and roughness. Check while driving in a straight line, and around corners. Make sure you check with steering on full lock - in both directions and while moving. Any clonking sounds are cause for concern.
• Drive in reverse gear for 100m or so to see what visibility is like (and to make sure reverse works smoothly). Back the car into a car park or driveway also to see how comfortable you are manouvering the vehicle.
• Stop the car hard without holding the steering wheel - but be ready to grab it. It should stop in a straight line (check no one is behind you and warn passengers before doing this).
• Don't test the handbrake by trying to drive off with it set - it's possible to snap a driveshaft if it works well.
• Drive the car in all gears and change gears often to get a sense of how smooth it is. Jerky sloppy changes in an automatic are not a good sign. In a manual (think about how much time you'll spend exercising your left leg in Dubai traffic jams before buying a manual), jerky gear changes might indicate a problem with the gearbox, or just the driver trying to adapt to the clutch/gearchange combination - watch closely how the owner copes with it when driving. If the clutch takeup is jerky / sudden, that could be a good sign. It may mean there was a new clutch recently. If the takeup is near the top of the pedal travel and/or so smooth that you think it's an automatic, that's probably not a good sign. Replacement is moderately expensive, adjustment is cheap. Try to find out when it was last replaced. Clutches are good for 100,000+ kms under normal driving. Less than 10,000 kms if used badly or in the desert.
• Similar comments apply to brakes. Soft spongy brakes and long pedal travel may mean the fluid is low, or pads almost worn out. Grabby brakes with little pedal travel are more likely to indicate reasonably new pads. Grinding noises under braking means you've got an expensive pad and disc replacement to do. Squeaking noises are an annoyance but unlikely to be serious - get it checked anyway.
• If you detect a whining sound, it could be the differential and/or driveshaft (sometimes called propellor shaft) which is expensive to fix, or gearbox (or less likely the engine) which is also expensive. Or wheel bearings which are cheaper to fix. Or tire/tyre noise which probably means new tires. For cars over 5 years old, fixing a differential, gearbox, or engine is going to cost from a quarter to half of the value of the car, and possibly more than the car is worth if it is over 10 years old. Hence the popularity of cheap second hand motors in Sharjah (which you should think of in the same way as disposable lighters - they'll need to be replaced after a few months). If the whining noise has a continual change in pitch as you accelerate despite gear-changes, then it's in the bearings, drivetrain, or tires. If the whining noise pitch changes abruptly as you change gear, then it's probably in the gearbox (or maybe the engine).

Don't make a decision to buy based just on this checklist, it's not comprehensive or complete. And there's always the occasional devious seller who can disguise problems in such a way the checks above won't pick them up. Hopefully it's enough to get you started though.

Good luck and drive safely!